What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence has been defined, by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, as “the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior”.
In simple words Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage one’s own emotions but also becoming aware of the feelings associated with the emotions. A person with high emotional intelligence can also understand and anticipate the feelings of others and respond in an appropriate manner.
In today’s time when everyone is speaking of Artificial Intelligence (AI) & Machine Learning, the role and importance of Emotional Intelligence are coming across even more. However, intelligent AI becomes, it will never be able to read and understand human emotions and how to respond to these emotions to give comfort.
How is (Emotional Intelligence)EQ different to IQ?
According to renowned Psychologist Daniel Goleman, at best, IQ makes up only 20% of the factors that determine life success, while other forces, such as EQ, wealth, temperament, family education levels and pure luck make up the balance.
That means IQ will help academically, but to succeed in life; social and emotional skills are equally or rather more important as they will define the person’s ability to self-motivate, motivate others, understand own feelings and also those of others.
Why is Emotional Intelligence important in children?
Kids with high level of Emotional Intelligence can understand the feelings of their schoolmates, parents, friends and even strangers. They can extend to them the emotional support needed at the time and show empathy towards them.
Kids with well-developed Emotional Intelligence will grow into adults, who can win over people in all spheres of their life – be it their colleagues, friends, or relatives.
We are living in an era where very soon most of the mundane jobs and even a few intelligent jobs are going to be taken over by AI & Machine Learning.
However, there is an important aspect that will always remain out of the reach of AI – and that is managing people. You will need a person with high Emotional Intelligence to drive, motivate, inspire, encourage, instill loyalty, give trust, and show faith in the team to go to the next level.
Because of this it is imperative for parents and schools to start teaching and developing Emotional Intelligence in kids at an early age.
It’s been shown that children with high EQs earn better grades, stay in school longer and make healthier choices overall (for example, they are less likely to smoke); teachers also report that high-EQ students are more cooperative and make better leaders in the classroom.
Worldwide, companies interviewing candidates look at Emotional Intelligence as one of the must have skills as the person with high Emotional Intelligence is perceived to get along with people in progressively collaborative workplaces.
How to teach Emotional Intelligence to kids?
Before you can teach your children, first you need to be aware of your emotions, understand them and learn to express them clearly and correctly.
Children learn from observation, they easily pick up how their parents react, behave, and conduct themselves in various situations.
Children model themselves upon their parents. So as a parent, it is extremely important to be mindful of how you let your emotions come out.
First and foremost, make your kids familiar with the 7 universal facial expressions: Joy, Surprise, Anger, Contempt, Disgust, Fear, Sad
Be their coach and do the following:
- Help children understand that everyone has emotions
- Help them to be aware of their emotions and the associated feelings
- Help them identify the emotion
- Teach them how they can express their emotions appropriately
- Help them to understand the feelings of others – their classmates, friends, family members and so on. This is especially important to develop empathy
- Teach them how to keep themselves self-motivated
Now the question arises with most parents is HOW TO IMROVE THEIR KIDS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE?
First and foremost, the parents must understand that your child will have emotions and he will display it. The child does not understand at the initial level how to do it. He will display it the way he feels like. It’s very important for the parent to let the child experience the feeling. Once he experiences the feeling, he is complete with it and the feeling is not suppressed.
For example:- You are visiting a supermarket and your 6-year child creates a tantrum that he wants to buy a toy. He has a similar toy at home. You have explained him in every possible way, but he is just not ready to listen. It is a nightmare for most parents.
They are in a dilemma whether to take a backward step and buy the toy OR ignore the child and let him create a scene and make you feel embarrassed OR you scold him, yell at him and make matters even worse OR give him an emotional lecture on what is correct and what is not.
In this situation all options are open, but how YOU take the decision matters, whether you are taking the decision based on your ego or you are taking a selfless one. At this moment of time it’s only about the child and not about YOU. The child has to actually experience the emotion. At this point of time NEGOTIATION helps. Giving the child options helps. Give options in such a way that either option works for you. It will also help if you communicate beforehand where are they are going and for what purpose. The ground rules are set prior and both parties approve of it. Chances are the child will adhere to the rules.
Remember, it is always YOU who need to change and not your child.
Teaching your child about his emotions will help him become mentally strong. Kids who understand their emotions and have the coping skills to deal with them will be confident that they can handle whatever life throws their way.
