Tantrums: why they happen & how to respond
This is one question to which every parent is looking for an answer. Children in the age group of 2-6 are known to have temper tantrums at some point in time. It can be triggered because of various reasons like:
- Anger
- Hunger
- Being upset about something
- Not getting what they want
- A power struggle with parent or sibling etc.
The trigger could be quite different for every child. But one of the most common reasons children throws tantrums is to express their dislike or frustration and grab parents’ attention. Remember, they are still small and don’t have the maturity of adults to communicate their feelings. They are still not able to regulate their emotions.
Though showing such emotions are a normal part of growing up, parents need to be watchful as some medical professionals believe that regular tantrums could be caused because of lack of certain skills that could help them understand the situation better and respond in a better manner. What parents need to do is learn to manage kids emotions and channelize them into communication.
Understanding is the first step to reducing them.
How can parents understand and manage children’s tantrums?
Teach emotions
One of the first things Parents need to do is make their kids familiar with different feelings/emotions at an early age so that they identify that feeling and communicate with parents
Don't give in
Most tantrums start when parents don’t give in to their children’s demands. In such cases, the parent needs to stay calm but firm with the decision which has been taken. Next, ignore the tantrum and wait out. Let the child calm down before speaking with him again to make him understand why he was refused something
Be firm
Children who frequently have tantrums may start believing that by throwing it get them desired results. This is what parents need to be cautious about and remain firm and put their foot down once they decide on something
Use distraction
For younger kids, parents can try distracting the kids and take their attention away from the reason for the tantrum. Normally, as kids grow up they understand how to self-regulate their emotions and the frequency of tantrums reduces and gradually goes away
Be consistent
One important thing parent’s need to do is be persistent with their approach to handling tantrums. If at times you give your child what they want when they have tantrums and at other times you don’t, you are sending mixed signals and that might make the situation worse
Be patient
Tantrums will not go away overnight; you will have to give your child some time.
Normally, as they grow up they will stop having tantrums
Give Love & Affection
Once the tantrum is over, make sure to offer a hug and a kiss, but convey to your child that what happened was not good and should not be repeated
Be prepared
If your child is having frequent tantrums, keep track of what triggers the them. By doing so you can be prepared to manage these situations in a much better way or if possible, even avoid it
Another thing every parent need to remember is that your child having or not having tantrums is not an indicator of your parenting ability. What is important is how you respond to the tantrums and helping your child cope with feelings and emotions in a better way.
